


I Could Kill You With Kindness, But Shoving You Into Traffic Just Saves So Much Time

by futuretrapqueen



Category: Football RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-29
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-17 21:34:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4682231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/futuretrapqueen/pseuds/futuretrapqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leo gives Cristiano what he wants, but LMAO it's never that easy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Kill You With Kindness, But Shoving You Into Traffic Just Saves So Much Time

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoyed writing this. A little longer than my usual stuff, but I hope you enjoy <3

Gerard knew it was the media that created the rivalry between Leo and Cristiano. He had seen with his own eyes that both men held no ill will towards each other and Gerard even thought that with a little coaxing, the two could end up being great friends.

Of course Gerard had no idea that Leo and Cristiano had been in a relationship for the past 2 years.

In fact, nobody did.

So when the Spaniard had invited them both over for a BBQ during the summer, they knew they'd have to be careful.

~

"So I've got steak and I've got chicken. You up for both or ..."

"I'm down for both." Cristiano replied, glancing over at Leo.

"Yeah, whatever you want, Geri."

The Argentine was finding it difficult not to stare at Cristiano. He ducked his head and took a sip of his beer.

"I'll get cooking then. You just chat among yourselves." Gerard said with a grin, he grabbed the tray of meat and headed off towards the BBQ.

"So." Cristiano said, moving to sit in the chair next to Leo's. "This is nice."

"This is torture." Leo grumbled as he glanced up at Cristiano, he let his eyes roam over his lovers sculpted body. What he'd give to just throw Cris to the floor and have his way with him. He closed his eyes at the thought.

"What are you thinking about?"

Leo startled slighly. Cristiano had leaned in close, his breath was ghosting across his ear.

Leo sighed. "You baby. Always you. Fuck, I don't know how long I can do this." He whined, leaning into Cristiano as the Portuguese man briefly pressed his lips to the younger mans neck.

"You think he'd notice if we snuck off into the pool house?" Cristiano asked, glancing over his shoulder to see where Gerard was.

Leo chuckled. "Gerard notices everything."

"Shame." Cristiano sighed. "Unless ..."

"Unless what?"

"Unless, well ... You know that thing that I've been asking you to do for me?"

Leo quirked an eyebrow at Cristiano. "Yes ..."

Cristiano smirked at his lover. "Wellllllll?"

The Argentine gave Cristiano an indigant look, shaking his head in disbelief.

"You're not serious?"

"Oh, I'm very serious baby."

"No Cris."

"Leo ..."

"Cris, no."

Cristiano ran his hand along Leo's thigh, squeezing the taut muscles that were tensing slightly. He gave the Argentine his best puppy eyes and bit his lip, making Leo groan.

"C'mon baby. I don't ask you for much. Besides it's for my eyes only. Please, Leo. _Please_?"

Cristiano rested his chin on his lovers shoulder, glancing up at him tenderly. He knew Leo would cave, he always did.

Leo let out a huff and abruptly stood up. He looked around to make sure Gerard was out of sight before leaning down and kissing Cristiano intensely.

"The things I do for you." He griped, before walking off towards the house.

Cristiano beamed, making himself comfortable in his chair.

~

Leo had been to Gerard's house many times before, so he knew his way to one of the many bathrooms on the main floor.

He switched the light on and gave himself a once over in the mirror. _Just get it over with_ , he said to himself, _you're doing this for Cris_.

Leo took off his shirt and placed it on the counter, then he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket before yanking his shorts and underwear all the way down so they were dangling around his ankles.

He grabbed his dick and gave it a few hard tugs to coax it to life, but not enough to get himself hard. The last thing he needed was an erection right now, especially with Cristiano right there when he wasn't allowed to touch him.

He opened the camera on his phone and held it up to the mirror. Leo tried his best to find his most flattering angle and made sure his dick was well within the shot and then snapped a quick picture. He caption it with _'You owe me Cris, I love you baby.'_ before sending it off to his lover and Leo had to admit, he was pretty damn proud of himself. He couldn't wait to see Cristiano's reaction.

~

When Leo got back to Cristiano, the older man looked annoyed. When he saw Leo approaching he raised an eyebrow at the Argentine, tapping his foot impatiently.

"What? Did you change your mind?"

Leo was confused. "What do you mean? I sent it to you."

"Uh, no you didn't. Unless you have another boyfriend named Cristiano that you send dirty pictures to, but I didn't get anything."

"Cris, I did exactly what you asked me to do." Leo said, rolling his eyes. He opened up the messages on his phone. "See? I sent it to you stra - Oh my God."

"What?"

"Oh my fucking God."

"Leo what is it?"

The Argentine turned his phone around so Cristiano could look at the screen. What he saw, was a naked picture of Leo, looking hot as fuck with his dick in his hand, but the name of the recipient at the top of the message wasn't _Cristiano Ronaldo_ , no.

It was _Gerard Fucking Pique_.

"Fuck." Cristiano snatched the phone out of Leo's hand. "Fuck!"

"What do you we do?" Leo had turned a shade of white that was almost transparent. "What the fuck do we do?"

"We? You did this Leo. Don't drag me into this!"

"Excuse me! It was your fucking idea!"

"Yeah but I didn't think you'd be stupid enough to send that to the wrong fucking person! Or was that the plan all along? Maybe you wanted Gerard to see you naked. Is that it?"

"What the fuck are you even saying Cris! Yes, my dream in life is to have my best friend hoard naked pictures of me on his fucking cellphone. You caught me! You figured me out Cris! Congratulations!"

"Okay calm down." Cristiano whispered viciously. "It's not like he knows it was for me."

That made Leo turn an otherwordly shade of red.

"You didn't ..." Cristiano's mouth was hanging open.

"Leo you fucking didn't."

"It was for YOU Cris, I didn't think this would happen."

The two men just stood there. Staring at each other.

"We," Cristiano started. "We could tell him it was a joke?"

"Oh yeah _'Hahahaha! Hey Geri, Cris and I were so bored while you were cooking that we decided to get our dicks out to pass the time.'_ He wouldn't by that for shit." Leo spat.

Cristiano was about to ream into Leo when the sound of someone clearing their throat made him turn around.

There stood Gerard, hip cocked to one side and eyebrows raised high to the sky. He shimmied his phone in his hand and smirked at his rather embarrassed friends.

Gerard let out thunderous howl, clearly amused at the entire situation.

"I believe you two have some explaning to do." He snickered. "And the foods ready, so this will be one hell of a dinner conversation!"

~

"You have a big dick, _pulga_."

Leo thought he was going to pass out.

They had told Gerard the truth, that they had been together for a while and that he was the only one that knew. He seemed genuinely happy for the both of them and assured them that he wouldn't tell a soul. He did, however plan on keeping the picture, in case he ever needed to blackmail either of them into doing something for him. And really, neither Cris or Leo were going to complain about that. Gerard was taking it all so well.

Gerard stuck his finger out and pointed it at Cristiano. "I'm assuming you bottom?"

Cristiano scoffed at that. "Why the hell do you assume I bottom?"

"Because I know you and I know Leo." Gerard continued, waving his finger between the two of them. "Leo ain't bottoming if he doesn't have to, but you? You, on the other hand, are persuadable."

Cristiano whacked the finger that was wagging back and forth in front of his face and glared at the obnoxious Spaniard. Gerard smirked at Cristiano. "I'm taking your silence as confirmation. I have to say I'm impressed Cris. That doesn't look like an easy dick to take. I'm surprised you still walk normally."

Cristiano smacked the back of Gerard's head, but couldn't help the smile that spread across his face.

Leo, on the other hand, was having a mild panic attack. He shoved a pillow over his face, groaning emphatically. "Geri for the love of God ..."

"Sorry, sorry I'll stop." Gerard promised, picking up his beer and downing the rest of it contents while peering at his phone.

"All jokes aside, you take a good naked picture ..."

"Geri."

"... and if you two aren't blasting Nicki Minaj's Anaconda when you fuck, you really should be."

"Geri."

"On repeat."

"Geri, please."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm just saying Leo, you could sink a fucking battleship with that thing."


End file.
